forlorn experiences.

I thought, i really thought that i was special.
We all want to be the special one in someone’s eye right we accept it or not, that’s the gig; brutal, honest and everything real. And as we are trapped by the universal art of self loathing, very obviously, we don’t think about ourselves the way we should and unintentionally seek validation from the one we think we love. And maybe we do, I mean I can feel it; love groping me and caressing me everyday, each day a new muscle, a new tether sinew. And when the one person whom you think you love actually starts appreciating you, that’s a champagne feel. You eventually start feeling better about yourself, not all the time (because, duh, obviously?) but whenever they’re around, you tend to be blooming. It is then, when at the back of your mind you realise that, what if that’s not a mutual feel, that perhaps she wasn’t really comprehensive about such a hypothetical concept; love.
you fucked up big, again. wow, congrats. congratulations for again drowning for a person who’s tryna calm her own sea BUT DAMMIT
I had felt it, really, she catching glimpses of me and finding me adorable or being amused by me. but you know, I always feared this, that whether those big brown Californian eyes screamed the truth or na. But I was proven my worth, I got friendzoned GAAIZZ. I got delayed. She never looked at me like that, never found me amusing, she never catched glimpses of mine nor did she feel anything about me.

don’t ask me who’s the victim, or is she the one to blame. she’s a restless sea. and all I’ve ever wanted was to drown in the realms of her paradise, feel her like nobody, be exclusive. but as for now, it’s complicated because, I don’t know.

I just, don’t know

By the way, hi!

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